Time Was On His Side

Rupert Loewenstein: A Prince Among Stones - That Business With the Rolling Stones and Other Adventures

The Wall Street Journal, March 18, 2013

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If Jeeves had ever written a memoir of his time with Bertie Wooster, it would have been discreet, faintly disapproving, quietly affectionate and just a tiny bit dull. Step forward Prince Rupert zu Loewenstein-Wertheim-Freudenberg, a Jeeves of sorts to the Rolling Stones for close to four decades, their “bank manager” but also, as he notes in his new memoir, the band’s “nanny, frequently, psychiatrist, on occasion.” Sure enough, his account of his years with Their Satanic Majesties is discreet, gently disapproving, resolutely unshockable, undeniably affectionate and just a tiny bit dull.

Yet, as an archly written comedy of manners, “A Prince Among Stones” has its merits. The prince hails “from a certain sort of distinguished background,” and, by Gotha, he wants you to know it. Fair enough to mention a lineage stretching back to a Duke of Bavaria who died, poor fellow, “repelling the Huns in 907,” but to conclude the book with page after page of Loewenstein genealogy may be a bit much for readers just hoping for insight into who did what to whom in Studio 54. On that, the prince is, for the most part, loyally, infuriatingly silent, preferring to pepper his paragraphs with names boldface only in the most self-referential of worlds, that of a European high society in which the participants are primarily defined by family and connections. When Mr. Loewenstein introduces us to one of his acquaintances, we quickly learn that his father “was married to . . . a niece of Aspasia Manos, the commoner who married King Alexander I of the Hellenes.”

The prince himself was born on Mallorca months after the launch of the Third Reich. His parents were somewhat bohemian Bavarian aristocrats, who were both also of part-Jewish descent, a fact that is only briefly alluded to in the book but which adds a dark resonance to Mr. Loewenstein’s carefully understated story of a privileged yet vagabond upbringing. He spent much of his early childhood in Paris until, at the age of 6, he fled France and the Wehrmacht for England. He eventually became a British subject but never truly left the Continent behind. By his 20s he was enjoying “a very jolly international time.” He shares anecdotes of a strangely antique midcentury, including grand hotels, Rothschilds, an Agnelli, two guano heirs and a Venetian countess—a roll call enlivened by traces of his endearingly bone-dry humor.

Read one way, the social whirl that Mr. Loewenstein records could easily be viewed as the last hurrah of a deracinated aristocracy, cut adrift from history by the fall of the empires their families had ruled and served. But this is no snooty tale of genteel decline. Dynasties that flourish for a thousand years do so for good reason. Mr. Loewenstein relates how, as a successful and well-connected stockbroker, he headed up a consortium to buy a London merchant bank in 1963. Deal done, “the dolce vita days were over,” he laments, but the bank fared well.

And then, in late 1968, “the art dealer Christopher Gibbs” (a description too bland to do justice to a character even  Keith Richards  remembers as “adventurous”), who Mr. Loewenstein had “met, in that wonderful French phrase, dans le monde,” asks if he “would consider taking care of the finances” of the Rolling Stones. Mr. Loewenstein’s wife, in the know thanks to her “reading of the popular newspapers,” helps him sort out who these ruffians are. Until then “the name of the group meant virtually nothing to me.” He had (of course!) already “tripped over”  Mick Jagger at one of “the new style of informal parties,” an encounter that he, the grander grandee, had managed to forget.

This revelation sets the tone of slightly superior distance that the prince maintains from his unruly protégés throughout the book. There’s talk of “tomfoolery,” of “criticisable” behavior, of “sniggering like schoolboys.” And there is what may be the most spectacular washing of hands since Pilate: “The Stones had their own dressing rooms or caravans where, in the privacy of their own space, Keith, Mick and the other artists could do whatever they wanted,” he writes. “What went on behind those closed doors was entirely their business. I understood that it was part of their own particular way of preparing for a show.”

But perhaps detachment both from the rock ‘n’ roll circus and, to a degree, from the England in which he had settled helped Mr. Loewenstein see the potential in Jagger’s errant crew. In matters of business, “calm dispassion is essential.” A mildly artsy upbringing had left him open to dealing with musicians too scruffy and too chaotic for most City financiers of that era. He understood that in swinging London the old hierarchies had swung apart. Besides, he was “rather bored.”

What he discovered was that the Rolling Stones’ finances were a shambles. What he appreciated was that they need not be so. For all their countercultural baggage, the band was a business, one that needed running properly. Mr. Loewenstein spirited them out from under the grasp of the British taxman and, so far as he could, replaced one-sided commercial arrangements on which they were on the wrong side with ones in which they were not.

As much as Mr. Loewenstein did not like their music (“I never played a Stones track by choice”), he recognized their strength as performers, a talent that, he saw, could be profitably exploited—but by the band and not just by promoters and other scavengers. So here, too, Mr. Loewenstein took charge, not only sorting out the contracts, and the merchandising, and the sponsors, but doing his best to bring a little more Ordnung, financial or otherwise, to the touring process. A leading figure in an “ancient” (naturally!) Catholic order, Mr. Loewenstein even modeled the band’s meet-and-greets on papal audiences. The author’s famous ancestor had died in an attempt to repel barbarians. A millennium later, his descendant embraced them, enriched them and, on the way, did pretty well for himself.

So You Want To Be a Rock 'n' Roll Star

Keith Richards: Life

The Wall Street Journal, October 29, 2010

Right at the beginning of "Life," there's a hint of the glorious Spinal Tapestry that Keith Richards's autobiography might have been. Using words that are rather less decorous than a family newspaper can permit, Mr. Richards recalls how: "[1975] was the tour of the giant inflatable [phallus]. It came rising up from the stage as Mick sang 'Starf—er.' It was great was the [phallus], though we paid for it later in Mick's wanting props at every tour after that, to cover his insecurities. There was a huge business of getting elephants on stage in Memphis until they ended up crashing through ramps and [defecating] all over the stage in rehearsals and were abandoned." With such grandiloquent kitsch (and the author's implicit acceptance of its absurdity) and a cleverly freighted jeer thrown at a bandmate, we have the ingredients of a definitive rock star memoir. A child of the 1960s and 1970s, I read on expectantly.

 I should have known better. Judging by the hype and circumstance that has surrounded its release, "Life" is a tome meant to be taken very seriously: less a deliciously barbed and baroque romp than an attempt to amplify—up to 11 perhaps—the legend of the world's "most elegantly wasted man."

It will succeed. Apparently shocked, shocked by the guitarist's calm, if obsessive, depiction of his drug use (too much detail, Mr. Richards, way too much) and the suggestion that such pastimes can be managed (if not always, the author admits, by him), Walt Disney is reportedly considering writing our hero out of the next "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie. By contrast, the most outrageous substance abuse described in the book—a recipe for bangers and mash involving HP sauce—has attracted none of the condemnation it deserves.

Drugs have been a big part of Mr. Richards's life, but they are part of his shtick too, and the emphasis upon them in this book will buttress the Rolling Stoner as an icon of dilapidated cool. But cool is not what it was. For all the laconic detachment of Mr. Richards's frequently amusing prose, there is something sweaty about the way this former choirboy (yes, really) is so determined to establish his machismo. It's not the girls (though there are plenty—and why not) that give the game away but the hard-man anecdotes—"so, boom, I fired a shot through the floor"—the (possibly helpful) tips on knife-fighting, the brandished Jack Daniel's, the references to himself as an alpha male, the disparagement of Mick Jagger's "todger," even a competitive approach to narcotics:

"I don't think John [Lennon] ever left my house except horizontally." Mr. Richards claims to feel imprisoned by his image ("like a ball and chain"), but, ever the professional, he's willing to play along: "Folks out there created this folk hero. Bless their hearts. And I'll do the best I can to fulfill their needs."That was the first rock and roll I heard. It was a totally different way of delivering a song, a totally different sound, stripped down, burnt, no bulls---, no violins and ladies' choruses and schmaltz, totally different."

That's good of you, mate. But preserving the illusions that feed the Rolling Stones franchise has made "Life" so much less interesting than it could have been. That said, if you're after a first-person impression of the band, especially one in which Jagger, Brian Jones and Bill Wyman have been brutally cut down, this is the book for you. Ronnie Wood's "Ronnie" (2007) is a cheery enough collection of postcards, but he only formally joined the band in 1976. Bill Wyman's "Stone Alone" (1990) ends with the storied 1969 concert/wake for Brian Jones in Hyde Park. It's OK, and the author tries to settle a few scores ("the crucial riff for 'Jumpin' Jack Flash' was mine"), but it is ultimately dragged down by historical minutiae: "Finally we ended up in the Bali restaurant in Park Street, where we had a nice lunch of curried prawns and Cokes. It was the first real meal we'd had for twenty-four hours!"

Mr. Richards disdains (or perhaps has just forgotten) such details. "Life" is impressionistic, something reinforced by its being structured as an extended monologue—Dionysus reminiscing in the pub—a process helped along by a friendly collaborator, the accomplished journalist and writer James Fox. At least one of the two of them is capable of startlingly evocative language: Brian Jones's contributions to "Let It Bleed" were the "last flare from the shipwreck."

And "Life" covers a lot of ground. After opening his story with a smug account of a potentially disastrous arrest by Dixie's finest (it turns out more "Dukes of Hazzard" than "Cool Hand Luke"), Mr. Richards takes us back to a shockingly normal working-class childhood distinguished mainly by a musical fascination that turns into an obsession. Then comes art college saving him "from the dung heap," music, more music, Jagger, the coming together of the band, and a brief period of struggle followed, astoundingly quickly, by distaff Beatlemania. After that, we're in more familiar territory: Anita Pallenberg, Altamont, the pharmaceutical adventure tour that drags on for decades, and the usual tales of studios, tours, tax avoidance and excess. This culminates—let the moralists weep—not in a junkie's death but in a successful second marriage, creative contentment and an old man's bibliophile pleasures in a Connecticut library full of George MacDonald Fraser and Patrick O'Brian.

Naturally, there's plenty for gossips (the Mars bar was on the table), armchair psychiatrists, rock archaeologists and—to borrow one marvelous phrase—"lyric-watchers" to savor, as well as revealing glimpses of the inexhaustible self-regard of this new royalty: "A jury of my peers would be Jimmy Page, a conglomeration of musicians, guys that have been on the road and know what's what. My peers are not some lady doctor and a couple of plumbers."

For the musically inclined, there's a master class in the "simple secrets" needed to make a guitar sing the Richards way, even if the source for all those "crucial, wonderful riffs that just came" remains elusive. (Bill Wyman is probably not the explanation.)

A more reliable clue can be found in the way that Mr. Richards caresses the memory of the siren songs of his youth: Jimmy Reed, Muddy Waters, Elvis and the others, soaring across the Atlantic to an island still not quite emerged from the drabness of a war concluded more than a decade before, and, of course, this: "The early days of the magic art of guitar weaving started then. You realize what you can do playing guitar with another guy, and what the two of you can do is to the power of ten."

And so it was. And so it still is, but, after this book, Mr. Richards may have to look for a new lead singer.